10 Days Till Opening Day: Casey McGeheeee Grounded Into Another Double Play

bummerdude

Now’s the time for me to write about the Giants’ fat third baseman, only it isn’t the fat third baseman I wish I were writing about. Despite his whiplash-inducing turn from fan favorite to heel, I really, really wish I were writing about Pablo Sandoval’s 2015 with the Giants, because I really, really don’t want to write about Casey McGehee.

Casey McGehee sucks.

I don’t mean he’s a bad baseball player; he’s fine. Last year he was a league average hitter and somehow didn’t murder his team defensively, but Casey McGehee still sucks. He isn’t fun to watch play baseball, and while that is normally just a venial sin, considering who he has replaced, it’s mortal. There is no conceivable Casey McGehee season that would make me glad to be watching him play baseball instead of Pablo Sandoval. If you could determine Casey McGehee’s single most thrilling career highlight, it wouldn’t even be as fun to watch as Sandoval’s top-10 Dugout High Five Moments.

Casey McGehee is replacing one of the most joyous players to watch, and the hell of it is that not only will he look less good, he’ll be much less good.

Casey McGehee doesn’t make any sense, except in all the ways he makes perfect sense. He’s fat, so his defense is bad. He hits a ton of ground balls, and he’s fat so they turn into double plays. He led all of baseball in GIDP last year with 31. He will kill so many rallies for the Giants in 2015.

He’s big and fat and strong, yet he hits for less power than Gregor Blanco, which doesn’t make any sense. I thought hey, maybe he was unlucky last year on his home runs per fly ball, so I looked up his average fly ball distance: 261 feet. Gregor Blanco’s average fly ball distance? 261 feet.

This sucks, and Casey McGehee sucks. He’s going to be such a bummer out there, just wait.

He hit .287/.355/.357 last year, which is 2/3rds of a really good slash line. In 2015, for the defending World Champion San Francisco Giants, their new 3rd baseman Casey McGehee will hit .275/.335/.345, hurt all of his pitchers’ ERAs and ground into like 20 double plays.

It will be such a bummer.

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